Church Refugee Sanity Guide – Part Four: 'The Psychology of Transition - Part Three - The Power of No'

Part Four of the Church Refugee Sanity Guide, presents ways to recover from the pain we will likely experience in our  relationships (church, family, and friends) when we are misunderstood because we no longer participate in traditional forms and expressions of “church.” If you or someone you know has been damaged, accused, threatened or other wise spiritually abused in a religious atmosphere, I entreat you to watch this video (as well as Part Five that will be coming next in this series). I think they are the most helpful and practical things I have ever done in this regard.

The Psychology of Transition – Part Three

“The Power of No”

There is no future for any of us in remaining in a state of negativity toward what was wrong and hurtful in the past or present. It is ok to diagnose dysfunction of the situation, disembed from it, and deconstruct the values we embraced. However, we must find wellness again and move on.

If we ate something unhealthy, it is natural to vomit. It is ok to go through a time where all we seem to do is spiritually vomit what we have eaten in the past. It is not ok to perpetually pick up the vomit, talk about it, examine it, and eat it again and again!

It is ok to leave our spiritual cradle, but we don’t have to kick it on the way out and curse the hands that rocked it.  We need to learn how to be authentic human beings one with another, and part of that process is learning to diagnose and deconstruct various forms of religious dysfunction, and to use the power that God has given each of us in the word “no.” We need to learn how to use it legitimately and with God’s approval, to protect ourselves.


How to recover from the pain of spiritual abuse

The Church Refugee Sanity Guide – Part Four

Copyright 2016,  Dr. Stephen R. Crosby, Would you like to partner with us in distributing our materials and perhaps generate some income for yourself?  Please go to for details of our Affiliate program. This ministry is sustained by the freewill offerings of those believe in the message of a radical grace in a new covenant understanding. If this article has been a blessing to you, would you prayerfully consider making a tax-deductible contribution through our Paypal button to help? Thank you and God bless you.

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