The Scriptures refer to believers in churches as children in several passages such as: 2 Corinthians 6:13, 12:14; 1 Thessalonians 2:7, 2:11; Galatians 4:19; 1 Peter 1:14, and multiple times in John’s epistles. The Corinthian and Galatian passages that mention fathers and sons/children are metaphors for the state of spiritual infancy of those in the community. It’s not necessarily a compliment, a model of ministry, a protocol, or standard to be maintained for all time. It is a metaphor for a relational spiritual reality and a season of spiritual development that we all pass through on our way to realizing our maturity in Him. .
The Thessalonian verses also use the term as a metaphor for Paul’s tenderness and affections among them. First Peter 1:14-15 also uses it as a metaphor for the believer’s relationship to God, not their relationship to leaders or mentors. In John’s epistles, it is again a metaphor describing John’s affection/heart state toward them, especially in their spiritual infancy.
Paul explicitly refers to only three people as his sons: Onesimus, Timothy, and Titus. In each case Paul applied the term to those for whom he was instrumental in their conversion process and subsequent development. Peter refers to Mark as his son once in 1 Peter 5:13. Paul refers to himself generically as a father in 1 Corinthians 4:15:
For though you have ten thousand instructors in Christ, you have not many fathers;for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel.
If we want to be “strictly biblical” in our thinking and methods, one has to question the scope of the f/s ministry paradigm for any relationship other than that of a convert and the one who leads him/her to conversion and subsequent growth in the faith. The context of 1 Corinthians 4:15 is explicit and frequently ignored when this topic is preached. Paul’s metaphor of spiritual fatherhood is related to birthing in the gospel: conversion, new birth.
Some believe the image is not limited to conversion, but to being “fathered in ministry.” Paul simply does not use the metaphor in such a way. It’s not in the text. It’s a weak, if not illegitimate inference. To categorically adapt this language to a relationship of someone who has transferred from another assembly or who has joined an apostle’s “network,” is a very dubious application of Scripture. But for the sake of the proposition, let’s say there is application beyond spiritual birthing.
Joining a network or association no more establishes a f/s relationship than putting a mouse in a cookie jar makes it a cookie. Any organization resembling a “Christian entity” legitimately exists only as a context for the development of relationships of mutuality, not as the source of identity or value. God operates by family. We want to build entities, institutions, and “networks.” Networking the verb is not such a bad thing if it means investigating and developing Spirit-wrought relationships. Network the noun is not such a good thing as it is only different than a denomination by the finest nuance of definition.
It is also a stretch to think that if Paul specifically identifies only three, and Jesus related to only twelve intimately, that any of the rest of us can have scores, hundreds, or thousand of “spiritual sons and daughters” around the world! The idea is preposterous: ego on steroids.
It’s biblically illegitimate to make much of a little. It’s one thing to use the language of family, fatherhood, sonship, and children to describe Holy Spirit birthed unique relationships, primarily associated with conversion. It’s another matter to turn the language into a mandatory and universal spiritual protocol of “ministerial relationship” that all must submit to under dire threats of missing God’s best for his or her life. This is manipulative, controlling, nonsense.
 1 John – little children, young men, fathers.
 I am not a fan of the term “leader.” It has some cultural baggage associated with it that is nearly insurmountable to overcome and the NT Scripture does not use it specifically. I much prefer “follower” to leader as in the Pauline: “Follow me as I follow the Lord.” In that sense, yes, it is leadership.
 Philemon 10; 2 Timothy 2:1; Titus 1:4.
This blog is an excerpt of our booklet: Father-Son Ministry: Reassessing Apostolic and Prophetic Perspectives, available at www.stevecrosby.com
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Yea I think you hit the nail on the head–manipulative nonsense–there is only one who is to be in control of all the kids. And he is our father.
Thanks, Kenneth. Lots of nonsense out there.
As I read this question was begging me to ask since it isn’t addressed fully here. Actually a couple of related questions. And I am not posing these from a place for or against F/S. Given the text concerning Paul that you stated above could it be said that not all believers will enjoy a F/S relationship? In like manner what about those who come to the Lord through a gospel tract, tv program, book, on their own in same way or fashion? Will they ever or could the Lord bring them into a F/S relationship to help disciple them? All the nonsense aside and forgetting the prescribed formulas to meet the “needs” is it more of a matter of connecting believers to the head and teaching them to be fathered by our Heavenly Father?
Yes, that is why it is not a mandatory protocol. It’s wonderful when it happens, but it is not mandatory. I think tremendous riches can be gained in a f/s relationship when the Spirit brings it about in authenticity. But if for whatever reason, the spirit doesn’t, circumstantial or whatever, that individual is not on the “junior varsity” team or “failing” some mandatory protocol. God is big enough to sort it all out.
Yes, totally agree. I have been challenged in this season of life although desiring to walk with older brother (F/S relationship) to actually learn to walk with the Lord as my Father, to learn to keep in step with Him, to face the hard things not always running to man even though He does provide through His many member ed body He still wants to be first, all in all.
Better NO relationship than the WRONG one or an ARTIFICIAL one or God forbid – a harmful one!
Very grateful to find this website and your books. Have read three so far (on healing, praise & worship, and intercession). Loaning them out and planning to read more from this ministry. It is a balanced approach much needed. Your insights have provided confirmation for many nagging doubts I have had. My background is the charismatic movement of the 70’s and I have part of a church based on latter rain doctrine for the past 35 years. Thank you for the help I am finding. I am still trying to know what I should do, where I should be, along with my husband. Thanks, once again.
Thank you, Dianne, this is so very encouraging to me, as my passion is to help stop the nonsense and the pain it causes people, and help them find a way out. I attended a Latter Rain church for 13 years. I “get it”. Many times people tell me that I give articulation to their doubts. I am able to put into words for them, things that they instinctively, by the Spirit, know are not correct, but they just can’t put their finger on it. Sounds like our journey has been similar.
Amen Brother – this is helpful to those of us who’ve felt little connection to this whole F/S paradigm.
Good insights, Steve. It’s a bit pathetic when a mature brother in his 50’s who has walked with God for 30 years joins a network and calls the leader his father. Father/son relationships in the wrong context certainly will take away from the relationship with Father.